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Ode to the commode

Tokyo, Japan Among the ways in which the Japanese excel is in the attention to detail they lavish on the most mundane items.

Take the lowly bathroom toilet. Admit it — you accept the fact that your toilet seat will be cold when you sit down.

That is unacceptable in Japan. Here, the toilets are so smart and welcoming that it’s almost scary.

They are called washlettes, and they have a full range of services to offer, depending on the model one selects. In most of our hotels, the toilet lid automatically goes up as you get closer. Kind of like saying ‘hi.’ And the seat? It’s nice and toasty warm.

Proceed as normal, and then you are given a number of options. Bidet-like sprays can be focused in several directions, sometimes with varying degrees of intensity — concentrated or rotating. (Most meaningful for the ladies.)

There appear to be lots of other tricks your toilet can perform, but I just haven’t figured them all out yet. I do know that some can play music or the sound of rushing water.

But I can attest that deluxe models automatically flush when you stand up and then sanitize and deodorize the toilet bowl. 

If you want to go way beyond deluxe, the ultra model allows you to pre-program the unit based on user preferences.

Deluxe features aside, we have never been in a toilet anywhere here that wasn’t immaculate — and properly stocked. I once went into a creaky old shed behind an almost empty temple, and found a perfectly clean automatic toilet. Same for bus and train stations.

This issue is not an earthshaking one. But you have to admit that tending to an issue that affects every person every day and making it as pleasant as possible is a feat to be applauded.

So many of us have been suffering without realizing it. (I exempt Deb and Pete who have their very own Japanese toilet in America. They were spoiled by Japan.)

My favorite brand is Toto. When you use one, you know you’re not in Kansas anymore!

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